4yo: "I'm just going for a drive. Just call me if you need me, I'll come right back! I'm gonna bring you something and you'll love it."

My wife has a rapidly growing collection of dandelions.

My two year old has a habit of coming up to you, hitting you on the head three times with his hand, saying "there, all fixed!" and walking off.

In the middle of Westfield Parramatta (one of Sydney's largest shopping malls), my two year old stands up on a bench, raises his hands in the air and addresses the crowds streaming past:

"HELLO ALL YOU PEOPLES!"

His loyal subjects gave no reply, stunned at his majesty. Or something.

Added to the list of "I can't believe I found myself saying that":


"Hey! No lightsabers in the fish tank!"

My wife was at a friend's house yesterday and busted our four year old bouncing on their bed (and ringleading his little brother and the friend's little girl).
He was sternly instructed not to jump on people's beds, and obediently came into the loungeroom.
Several minutes later, my wife hears similar sounds coming from the bedroom and finds our four year old back on the bed.

In straight-faced innocence, he explained that it was okay because he was jumping off the bed.

Last Friday we went to the Australia Day celebrations at Parramatta park. Highlights include:

Master one-and-a-half sitting on the ground in front of a stage filled with twirling acrobats doing incredible feats of wonder- and being fascinated by a little hole in the dirt.

Master four's two week long enthusiasm about seeing hot air balloons being momentarily dampened when all 21 of them roared their burners at the same time. It was like being in the middle of a flock of dragons.

Watching the little model aeroplanes zoom around the park, and hear a little girl's voice behind me asking if there were people in them.

Counterpoint: on the way home, having a car drive by screaming "F**k Australia, Lebs rule". What an endearing and articulate group of fine young men. Last one out of Sydney turns into a pillar of salt.

When I step out of the shower, my four-year-old sometimes hears the water stop, and runs and gets me a towel.

That's cute enough, but his little brother tries to copy everything he does. Some time ago I stepped out of the shower to find my little toddler handing me one of my wife's bras.